MyConfession #1
Sometimes, its just so much easier to tell others to be/stay strong,
compared to having to do it yourself.
Bad day.
Idk how to say it, who to say it to. Im just feeling horrible and i think i'll just stfu for today. But the anger and hatred bottling up in me is increasing more and more each minute. I feel like crying just now. This is so fucking unfair. All i want and need, is someone to tell me that its okay and i need a big tight long hug. I wanna go back to where i was, where i can hide from the ugly world and feel safe. I need security.
There's that one person that you'll always turn to when things crash hard on you. That one person that will make a difference in your life. That only one that can save you from all the pain and give you all the assurance that you need that things will be fine. But i can't do that anymore. Im falling apart. I don't deserve this. But i need to stand alone, i've to shake it off my mind and fucking stay strong. Feel so fucking broken.
You already knew that you've been fighting a battle that you'll always be losing.
But, you still continued to fight. & then one day, you finally decided to accept the fact,
that you've been fighting for nothing. & that you're always at the losing end.
My expression when i take a look at my DPD lecture notes.
Tell me bout it. DPD is a killer for exams, lecture notes are as thick as hell w slides that are overloaded w lengthy words. Guess what? The worst part is, the questions asked in past year exam papers.. the answers can't be found in the lecture notes. I mean, it requires us to think and come up w our own examples. But... its like, bout the tourism planning and all in countries.
HOW WUD I KNOW THAT?! OMG, FML...
Im just hoping that i'll be able to squeeze some good info into my brain later before i get into the examination hall by tmr morning. Doing v v v last minute work again. But.. yeah whatever. Serve me right. So, i hope questions asked in the paper tmr will be doable for me. -prays-
Super lots and lots and lots of luck to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes, you just can't forget bout the things, especially all the lil details of someone who meant so much that came into your life, stayed for so long and left such a great impact in you, your heart, and your life.
Hiiiiiiiii .
Im done and over w my Spa exam paper yesterday, finally! Was dead tired cause i only took a short rest of 3 hours sleep before heading to the examination hall to take my paper. Forever procrastinating till the v last minute. But fortunately, i can still do the paper. I don't mean to be able to score well, but at least.. i believe i should be able to hit a pass for that paper. -prays hard-
So.. i went back home after paper cause i was real tired and i don't wna head elsewhere. But guess what? The only thing that was occupying my mind was.. "I wanna bake oreo cheesecake." Damn. I planned to get on w it like, next week, after all my examinations are over. Cause i don't think i've time to spend on baking either. But... my rashness overtook my mind, and so.. i followed my heart and got on w baking! Ahahaha i know right, crazy ass me.
So.. let's get on w it. Mmm.. ingredients first as per usual.
Oreo crumbs.. Chomping them into lil pieces to make the base of the cheesecake!
Mixture for the cheesecake!
Time to bake it! :D
Idk if you guys can tell the difference..
But.. it actually puffed up after like bout 20 minutes or so of baking. The baking duration aactually takes up of 40-50 minutes of time. Its honestly much more troublesome to bake an oreo cheesecake comparing to baking cookies. Anyways, what do yall think the results will be like? *excitedddd*
Taaadaaaa! Oreo cheesecakes!
These are when they are done w baking but not chilled yet. So you can actually see that its still soft and not hardened like the ones we have it outside.
How it looks like after chilled *grins*
You actually have to chill it and placed it in the fridge for it to hardened and everything. Only then, it will look and taste like a cheesecake! Pretty yummy, heehee. Anyways, talking bout baking.. I seemed to be really interested and enjoying myself during the process.
Guess what? I feel that baking actually helps me to relieve stress. HAHAHA. Serious. Well whatever it is, im done w the another dessert on my baking list! Gna try out other types soon when im done w y examinations. And yes, i spent my entire day baking the cheesecakes and just putting my mind to relax mode.
Apparently, i was dead tired.. Cause i've no idea where did i managed to gather all the energy from to stay awake and get on w baking and all for 19 hours w my pathetic 3 hours rest the night before and overloaded information for my examination in my brain. So, when im done w everything, i met Yanting to have late night chats and to give her some of the oreo cheesecakes.
Got back home at bout 1? Ching ching chang chang here and there, and when im ready for bed.. I fell asleep in less than 5 minutes! Shows just how tired i really am. Hahahaha. Okay, i needa start on w my revision for Monday's paper. Byeee!
Haaayyylowww!
Woots im a few hours away from my v first exam paper. Like as if im damn excited over it when im not done w revision. Damn, i knew this would happened. That's just so Jingying... Procrastinating queen. Any awards for that title? I'll win that for sure! Meh.
So, im just browsing through past papers now to save my ass from studying that whole lot of notes and spot some questions out instead. Been pretty screw up lately.. Okay, to be honest, i've been like this all the while. Okay, skip the mugging part. It bores me to talk bout it cause im repeating the same damn thing all the time :/
So, on the bright note.. I went to Giant Supermarket w my parents just now! Woohooo! Cause i went to get big tubs of yogurt back home! YEAY! Im so happyyyyy cause i love eating yogurt :D & yes, because the supermarket downstairs at the community centre doesn't sell big tubs of flavored ones. They only have the plain ones available. So.. i went to Giant and got 4 big tubs of yogurt back home!
Okay, there's only 3 here.
The other one i bought was another brand which was a plain one.
The Mango one is really yummy! What's best bout yogurt? So much healthier to snack on rather than sweets, chocolates and the other junk food of your choice. And most importantly.... ITS LOW-FAT OR NON-FAT! WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ^^v
Anyways, mummy bought some dumplings back home too. Its actually veggie inside it, but.. it taste really nice. So, i know this is a lil unhealthy.. But..... we need to make ourselves happy at times right? Hehehehehehehe. Go get those dumplings and nom them!
Okay, so.. im just gna rest for awhile and then..... yknow ~ Revise thru out the night! Im better at doing last minute work. That's not something to be proud of. But yes, it actually works on me. Bad idea, bad example. So please don't take after my steps! Its better to start early and be well prepared for exams.
So.. that's all for today. Goodbyeeeeee!
Its better this way, i don't feel a thing no more.
Hey guys! How's revision been going on? Urghs yall should know what i'll answer to you guys, don't you? Hell, my Spa notes are driving me crazy seriously. Information overloaded, overloaded... DAMN. Its a hell lot to get it into my lil pea brain. -screams- Not to mention, i actually spend most of my time doing nothing as well. So.. apparently, im left w today and tmr to study for my paper on Friday.
Geez! My fellow course mates are already done w revision for 2 modules and starting on the 3rd and 4th already. Yet im here, not even done w 1 bloody module. Omg Jingying....... -.- Okay, im actually just here to take a break. So, im gna go back in awhile later. So freaking tired ~ Im just gna tumblr first.
Anyways, talking bout Tumblr.. I spend most of my time tumblr-ing away nowadays. Seriously? Its just so damn addictive. All those pretty pictures, yummy food, mouth-watering drinks, handsome and hot guys.... DAMN! How do yall resist that? Hahahaaha anyways, just follow me if any of you are tumblr users yeah? :D I just love Tumblr cause it expresses my feelings, cravings, likes and everything out well. Teehee, gotta go to my lovely Tumblr now. Gna reblog my boy's pictures & gifs! HAHAHA.
Byeeee!
Hello Monday!
I know it sucks when Monday arrives, students back to school and adults back to work. My Monday practically sucked because im a day nearer to my exams. Hah! Yeah, i've yet to start on my revision yet. I actually set my alarm at 8:30am but i couldn't get up this morning cause my whole body was in pain. :'( Idk why either, but.. its been going on for a few days.
& the pain is indescribable, it feels like as if all my bones in my body are breaking. Let's make it clear first, it got nothing to do w aging okay! Hahahaha im still young! But honestly, its really painful. So right now, i can only lie on my bed or on my sofa. Wonder what's really happening to me. Apparently, my body is breaking down. Poor me -sighs-
Aitez, since im gna give my body some rest before i start on w work, i shall blog bout me baking cookies during my weekends. Some entertainment to both you (my readers) & me! HAHA.
So, apparently.. these are the ingredients needed to make Chocolate chip cookies!
Mixing ~
Mixinggg ~
Time for chocolate chips to be added in!
Looks yummy already right! Ahahaha just kidding, heehee.
Time to bake those cookieeeeeeeeeeeeessssssss!
Looks promising, am i right?
& the results............ FAIL!
So... i spent my entire morning failing over and over and over again. & i've threw away so many of them! Cause it didn't turned out to be like cookies. The mixture was too wet so it actually resulted more like muffins instead. I was really demoralized and sad :/
But well.. i tried again in the afternoon. What do you think happened? YESSSS. You are right! Of course i succeeded! Those who thinks that i failed, -punch- Ahahahaaha. Time for successful cookies to be shown to yall!
I mixed in more ingredients and made it less watery so that it will not turn out to be like my first few failed attempts. Look, its much more dry now right?
Look now!
THESE ARE THEN COOKIEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Final Product.
A big jar of cookies done! Heheheheheheheehe.
So, i was crazy enough to persevere and find out the cause of why i failed at my first few attempts and i succeeded. I spent my entire day from morning baking these cookies all the way till 7plus 8 at night. Meh. Lucky that my family thinks that it tasted pretty good so... there's only a few left at home!
I wanted to give some to my closer friends and my groupmates but.. i didn't managed to. There wasn't enough time for me to make my way or shud i say, im not having any meet ups w them. So, i was pretty lazy to just travel my way to pass the cookies to them.
But come to think of that.. I managed to pass a handful to Yanting cause she stays just a block away from me! Glad that she likes it and finished everything. Muahahaha. I love baking! & im actually planning to bake other stuffs this upcoming week when im free. I think im gna be a baker soon! HAHAHAA. Sounds pretty good to me! Omg my whole body is in pain again. Fuck this.
Well...... I guess its time to go. Bye!
Hi there!
I haven't really been touching on my revision. Okay, not haven't really been. I have not even touched it. But.. im gna do it tmr. Yeah yeah whatever, i promise. Im real good at procrastinating (which is not something to be proud of) :/ I hope you guys are mugging hard for exams. Especially my fellow friends since its our last exam in our polytechnic life already! So, let's work hard.
Ahahaha so ironic huh, when im asking people to work hard and i myself is slacking my ass here not studying. I get that, im gna start on it pretty soon. Yes, tmr okay? I need some rest today. Teehee bye! (:
The exact reason why i love watching Vampire Diaries so much. Because i relate.
& thats why i always end up tearing over whatever that takes place in the show.
I know how Elena feels, cause thats how i totally feel.
"I’m sorry if I love you too much, but I don’t know how to love you any other way."
- The Vampire Diaries
My last day in school for lessons!
Yes, exactly like what you've read.. Today is the last day of me to be in school for lessons. Cause im not gna attend tmr's cruise tutorial. Oh whatever. & i actually planned to skip today's tutorial as well. But, Mr Chew is one of my favourite tutor this semester. So, i promised him that i'd go for his lesson today! & we got back our Ebiz test results. Guess how much i got? i got 34.5/50!
Okay honestly. im really happy! Cause Ebiz is like my favourite module for this semester, and as i was saying, Mr Chew is my favourite tutor as well! But yall know what? 34.5..... Its just 0.5 to move my grade up to a B! Omg kill me please :( I wanted to search for a 0.5 marks but then, oh.. Forget bout it. Nevermind, im contented still. & I love Ebiz! We took class photos, but its w Kartika.
So, i'll upload it when i have the pictures okay :)
Class ended early today, cause there was nothing to teach for Ebiz. & we are all done w Ebiz just like FM! Cause both modules are actually of project basis. Meaning, no main exams. Only tests. So, here we are. Done and over w both FM & Ebiz! (Y) Then we headed to Sugarloaf as a class. Okay, i still remember those days in Year 2.2 waking up every Tuesday morning in the wee hours, drag myself and hated this module SSM (Service Skill Methodology) Okay something like that if i didn't remember wrongly.
This week's the last week, which makes it the Execution week for students. Yeah, so.. skipping all those.. I bought a sandwich. Its pretty yummy only @ $3. Its like, erm.. grilled chicken if im not wrong? Hahaha been long since i stepped in Sugarloaf already!
Anyways, i kinda regret not waiting for the Fish main dish to come out and just bought the Chicken sandwich. Cause it looks so appealing! So crispyyyyy. Let me show yall the picture, my friend took a snapshot of it and posted on twitter. Well well.. i still like my Premium Chicken Sandwich :D
So.. im gna meet up w my girl later on tonight. The girl who just live a block away from me! Hahahaha been long since i last seen and met up w her to catch up. Can't wait to see her. Life's been busy for both of us, workload school and work work work for her. But finally, tonight we are gna meet up!
Ohyeah, suddenly strike me and recalled bout Weilin asking me not to be emo cause she said i was reblogging sad stuffs on tumblr. & i replied to her saying i wasn't emo, i just reblog cause i could relate to the sayings. Ahahahaha im so full of rubbish. But, the feeling of knowing someone cares is really nice :') & yall know, memories kills but it just reminds me bout so much that we used to have tgt, all those crazy and stupid things we did w/o even thinking and just went w it. :')
Saw this on twitter..
一句 “我难受” 。可以换来谁的一句：“你在哪，马上到"
Thats totally how i feel :(((( -Sighs-
Aitez, thats all. Im gna end my post here and.. Idk why, but my stomach hurts pretty much :( I just got up from my rest and im just gna go back to lying on my bed till it feels better. Its Friday tmr already guys! Put on a big fat smile on your face, heehee bye!
Hi there!
Wednesday is almost over in another few minutes to go, time is ticking. Haha okay im just trying to be lame. Anyways, i stayed home today to complete my FM Forum in the morning. Finally! Its over! Last session, i've conquered FM! So, i actually took a screen shot of it where my tutor posted in the forum saying that its the end of FM forum! Hehehehe. Take a look!
Okay lame. But yall know, im really happy! Cause this is the first time my attendance is 100%! Ahahaha no choice, cause FM is a module where we have to participate every week answering the questions he post. Otherwise, marks will be deducted. & hell, i don't want that to happen. Lucky thing is, we are able to access to the website and forum itself at home. So we need not travel to school early in the morning for a 9am class. Weeheee!~!
So, after i was done. I already planned to have my entire day at home since i've decided to use up my last "off day" for the very last session of Club tutorial. And yes, i skipped tutorial today. But in the end, i made my way to school still. Because, there was an Opportunity Fair in school and my lecturers and tutors urged us to attend it and sign in our attendance cause they will track it. I was reluctant to attend honestly.
But i made my way there in the end. Cause Rachel wanted to go as well. Okay, something embarrassing to share. Although im a TP student, i cudn't find the Auditorium Foyer! Omg, i spent like 15 mins walking about in school until i realized it was right at the entrance with a big signboard but i didn't even see it at the very beginning. -faints- Rachel was laughing at me for being so retarded.
Okay whatever. I've nothing much to talk bout the Op Fair. But then, i saw my groupmates at the fair, and in the end.. i received this small lil thing for V day and she said to show her appreciation to our group. Heheheh, it totally made my day. Sweet lil thing from Weilin! She bought Hello Panda, each a packet for all of us with a post stick on it written w a small note. Hehehehe happy me! ^^v
Anyways, the note she wrote.. its an inside joke. Only me and her understand ;) Muahahaha.
Afterwards, the timing was awkward. Like 5.15? So, i accompanied Rachel to Tamp to get her stuffs and dinner then make my way back home. Took a short lil nap, and i headed to the gym. Now im back home, bathed and feeling real comfortable. Heehee. So, today's been pretty good. Other than some other times when i have lots of thoughts occupying on my mind.
Im just afraid.... :(
Okay, have a good rest everyone. Thursday tmr already! Fighting! (Y)
Wednesday, February 29, 2012 
Confession #1
